Scared - A Romantic Love Letter. As wonderful as love is at times it can be frightening, especially when the point of reference is heartbreak, jealousy
and distrust. But once the joy of love has touched your spirit, fear disappears and the wondrous nature of love takes over, lifting you to emotional heights you never dreamed possible. It's amazing how three words, I love you, can change a person's life. Experience the magic with this love letter, "Scared".
Scared: by Thomas Sutton
For months I was scared to fall in love. Because of my past experiences (and one person in particular) I found it hard to trust anybody; not even my family (parents or brother). I would never express myself, or my emotions, for fear that people would point out my flaws and judge me for my mistakes.
That changed a lot when I fell in love with you, which I didn't do right away. I was frightened that I would be ridiculed, bullied, preyed on; so it was a while before I realized that I'd fallen in love with you.
I eventually realized that no matter how badly I had been treated in the past, or how I subsequently expected to be treated in the future, you were different. I felt that I could trust you, like I could tell you my deepest, darkest secrets, without worry that you'd break the confidence in which it was shared.
I felt happy around you. Until then, I did not believe it was normal - or even possible - to smile madly for no reason at all. I got butterflies in my stomach when I was around you; when I talked to you; every time I thought about you ... and still do. I found myself thinking about you more and more as the days, weeks, months went by.
Eventually, of course, the penny dropped for me and one silent, lonely night, alone in my bed, I realized that I loved you. A wave of emotion flooded me, and suddenly I felt unable to move, to function, or to even think . All I wanted in that moment was to see your beautiful, perfect face - next to mine.
My life suddenly had a purpose; you filled in the exit wounds from my previous experiences, and I realized that I only wanted you to be happy. You came before everything else: my GCSEs, my college applications, sorting things out with Mum, helping my brother during his step up to GCSEs. You came before all my other personal and academic priorities, with no exceptions.
Suddenly all I wanted was for you to be happy; I knew that the kind of person I wanted and needed to be was one who could provide everything you could ever want and need in a friend and a boyfriend. I needed to be there for you when you were upset, or confused, or scared, or worried, or alone... I needed to be there to give you advice, support, help, answers, comfort; I needed to give you friendship when you felt like the world was against you, a a shoulder to cry on when you felt like ending it all...
But, most importantly, I needed to give you love: undying, unconditional love. I needed to be able to show you that there is someone out there who cares, who loves you no matter what, unconditionally; people could bad-mouth and ridicule me; you could reject me, kick me to the ground and spit on me (metaphorically or literally): I would still love you, do anything for you. Nothing mattered more to me then and nothing matters more to me now.
So, obviously, I was elated beyond belief to find out that you felt the same way towards me.
Of course, people were quick to point out that because we were still very young we weren't mature enough to understand love. But that's where they are wrong. Yes, we were young, but why should that matter? Age is merely a measure of how many years you have been alive; it in no way represents how mature, physically or emotionally developed you are. Everyone is subject to pain and hurt when they are young, so why should love be any different?
I planned on concluding this letter with a well-formulated, carefully planned out finishing paragraph that would tug your heart strings and take your breath away. But, as is often the case when I think of you, words escape me. You leave me literally speechless.
So, instead I will end with two things. The first is a huge "thank you". Thank you for ridding me of my shyness and distrustfulness. Thank you for proving to me that no matter how bad your life seems, there's always a light at the end of the tunnel. You are my ever-shining light, and for that I thank you.
The other is to finish with just three words...I love you. They are simple, and powerful, but unfortunately are overused. Far too often people use them insincerely, usually just to provoke an emotional response from someone else, and that infuriates me.
So, do I love you? Yes! Utterly and completely. Never forget it. I know I won't.
I Love You