What were we missing?

by J
(Somewhere, USA)

Dear A,

Hi, it's J. It's been a while since that night in the rain when I told you how much I loved you. Even though we were both drunk I know that you knew I meant it. I still mean it, even if you don’t believe that. I believe it every day.

People have asked me about you, and I tell them that I’m over it, nothing is wrong. I’m lying to them, and sometimes I lie to myself. But my mind is full of you more times a day than ever before. If I could tell you all of this in real life, maybe you could figure out who you really are and that who you really are belongs with me.

I never thought that a person could turn away devotion like the way you did with me. I was, and still am, everything that could make your life happier. Looking into your ice blue eyes I can see the world, and the world is beautiful.

Your hair looks like heaven, your eyes are the windows to a soul that I lost. If only I’d never lost you, my eyes would look more like they did then, when you told me that I was a wise gorgeous soul from long ago sent to you to bring you joy.

I understand that times are hard. My shoulder is here, and it's waiting for you. My ear is here, and eager to listen to you. Your stories do not give me sorrow, they give me hope. Hope that you will soon find the peace that you deserve.

When I go to sleep, I see your face in my mind and my dreams are all beautiful; as if you are the muse of my dreamland. I dream of that night when we kissed. I wouldn’t have chosen for it to be in such a public setting myself, but the sparks were flying all the same.

I miss you. I still love you. I hope that you think of me every so often. I think of you.

With all of the love my heart can currently hold, I am still yours.
-J